Those words leave a filthy taste in my mouth, so let us pick apart why that may be. The most common understanding of the word is someone that is essentially your other half. Wikipedia tells me that in Ancient Greek mythology, Plato wrote a story that stated that humans were originally beings with twice as many appendages as we are accustomed to, and Zeus split them so they were doomed to wander the earth in search of their other half. My fundamental problem with this idea is it leads us to believe that we are not a whole person. You commit to spending a huge chunk of your existence searching for your other half so that you may then begin your life.
So to start, I am not a fucking half of a person. I am an individual, you are an individual, and we have the ability to communicate and connect. To quote my comment on a Facebook post that incited this post, "We are compatible with people on different levels. Some more than others. Some in different ways than others." Someone else had commented earlier that it's sad thought to not believe in soul mates, but I completely disagree. I don't find it comforting at all to think that there is only one person on this earth that will ever truly understand me and love me on that kind of level. We are not perfect little snowflakes in that sense.
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Tangential but still totally related: Why the hell do we expect one person to fulfill our wants and needs? That's a heavy burden! Polyamorists have the right idea with this. They also understand communication, honesty, and boundaries better than most people. There's a lot to admire and learn from polyamory. Take this example I use often:
Your significant other has cheated on you. Evaluate your pain- which hurts worse- the act, or the lie? More than likely, it's the fact that they went through with an act that they knew would hurt you, but they did it anyway, and may have even chosen to hide it. Who cares what they actually did- that's not what really hurts. Ponder that one.
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Religion does play a huge part in this, as many preach this exact idea of soul mates. It's a vital component of marriage. It's engrained into the way that we are raised so much that we hardly question it. You are to find a mate, marry them, make babies, and your life will be complete. It sounds quite cynical and stereotypical of me to be scoffing at this idea, but sometimes I really do feel like it's an epidemic. Watching all of these marriages flounder around me all of the time- everyone always ends up causing more pain and stress when they "try to make things work", which usually just involves begrudging compromises and shoving things under the rug. They made a heavy commitment at a young age, and now they have a kid with a spouse that is unfamiliar to them. But hey, that's their soul mate, right? Who else could possibly ever love them again? Oh wait, no, maybe this is my soul mate... or this one... oh yes, this one is it. This must be the one.
The one. The one and only one for you on the planet. But if that were the case, how would you ever know? Yes, I have heard that sometimes you "just know" that they're "the one". But didn't you think you knew everything when you were 16? How is it any different at 19? 25? 32? 75? Have you ever fallen in love with someone harder than you've ever fallen for anyone before? And then, have you ever done it again? Find someone new and fall in love even more? Shouldn't that tell you that there are no bounds? This extends to all emotions. You can't even begin to conceive how something feels until you are experiencing it, sometimes. You can have an idea, but the experience... may be incredible.
I think this is the main reason why forever scares me. To clarify, the thought of anything in my life staying the same forever. There are so many experiences that are awaiting my senses and so many ways my personality and my being can develop when confronted with them. I never want to underestimate the vast potential that is waiting for open eyes.
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